Week 5 - Rebels at Outlaws

I have been moving to a new residence so this week's post has been written by a guest blogger.  I was beginning to think that he'd wait to release this post until he released his tax returns to the American people (never) but he surprised me and submitted his post this morning.

Hello!  It is me, America's favorite GOP Presidential candidate, Mitt Romney!  I have the pleasure of guest blogging for a friend of mine who was just too busy to do a little blog post that almost nobody reads!  Haha, or as the kids say, LOL.  I am just kidding, that was a little rude but everything is fodder for comedy.  You know folks, American footballing is my favorite sport behind Dressage; you know, horse dancing.  My wife and I own several dancing horses; nothing gets me fired up more!  Speaking of fired up, I am fired up for this week's matchup between the Sheboygan County Rebels and the Outagamie County Outlaws.  As a law abiding citizen, both of the names of these teams, naturally, make me feel uncomfortable.  Why can't they be the Sheboygan County Eagle Scouts and the Outagamie County Respectful Youths?  Those would make a lot more sense to me.

Anyway, polling suggests that the Rebels are favored to win so I too will think they will win!  I truly believe that the swing state of Wisconsin is won by whoever gets the "WSFL vote".  You won't be seeing that President Barack Hussein Obama making blog posts about the WSFL, vote Mitt Romney in November! 

Why do you think the Rebels will win, you ask?  Well the answer is simple.  The Outlaws lost to the Untouchables 42-0 and the Rebels beat the Untouchables 16-6 last week.  Therefore, one may conclude that the Rebels will win easily 52-0.  Choosing the winner of football matches is easy!

Take the drive out to Little Chute, WI (at the High School) to support your Sheboygan County Rebels!  Kickoff is at 3:00 pm.  Be there or be a democrat!  That's more comedy for ya, buster.

1402 Freedom Rd.
Little Chute, WI 54140

I am Mitt Romney and I might possibly have approved this message.

Week 4 - Rebels vs Untouchables

The Men of 2207. 

There exists a place in this world where it is not good enough to just "be a man".  At this place reside titans.  Two thirds yooper and one third jersey shore are they.  With their powers combined, they make the Rebels unstoppable. 


Incredibly credible (that's how credible) sources tell me that Jared Martin (Yooper) was born in the forests of da upper peninsula to a wolf mother and bear father.  He was quickly abandoned and raised by bigfoot; thus his fierce attitude and imposing stature.  He earned the nickname "Manbeast" for his play on the football field.  He plays right tackle on the (roughly) 1,450 lb offensive line and also rotates in at nose tackle for the defense.

Jarred Querio (Yooper) has been known to enjoy licking the depressed tears of the enemy offensive linemen that he destroys from his defensive end position.  He always says "Sad tears taste the best." and there are plenty in the eyes of opposing olinemen with Mr. Q on the field.  Old wives tell stories of an insane monster that roamed the cornfields of the western part of the UP.   Some say this monster is looking for lonely children to kill. Other, more normal people know its just Jarred stealing some corn to make his own whiskey. 

Jamil Moore (Jersey) was conceived behind a tanning booth near a Bon Jovi concert on the Jersey Shore so it is a surprise to nobody that Jamil is the most feared person on the team.  Once Jamil suits up and pulls that helmet onto his head he might very well be the most feared player in the league.  Jamil can play any position on the field but he mainly plays strong safety and defensive end/ outside linebacker.  Don't run or throw to his side.

The Men of 2207 are taking some of the Rebels under their wing and it is good to see.  J Will, Gerry Hammons and Jeremy Kegler can frequently be seen in the area.  Neighbors have told me of the theme song of the Men of 2207 that can be heard blasting from the house.  It suits these guys perfectly.

The Men of 2207 will be on the front lines of the battle between the Rebels and "The U" (when people give themselves their own nickname it is usually pretty lame) this Saturday.  The Men of 2207 have hands in all three phases of the game and will continue to be another extrememly talented and young core for the Rebels for years to come.

Come out and support the Rebels (3-0) on Saturday vs the Untouchables (1-1).  The game will be played in Howards Grove at 6:00 pm.

Memorial Park

406 N. River Parkway
Sheboygan, WI 53083

Rebels sink the Mariners

The Sheboygan County Rebels defeated the Manitowoc Mariners 34-3 this afternoon/night in Two Rivers.  This game had everything; amazing runs, big hits, interceptions, bombs for touchdowns and more.  Though the team struggled at times (remember the 3rd quarter?) the Rebels were able to rise above it all to finish strong with a solid 4th quarter.

The Rebels are now 3-0.  A big shout out goes to the fans of the Rebels who travel so well to support the team!  Thank you.

Week 3 Preview - Rebels at Mariners

In the epic conclusion to the classic 90s children's movie Hook the character of Rufio battled one on one with the depraved Captain Hook.  My 1991 self still cries out "Noooo!" along with Peter Pan as Hook is able to kill the leader of the Lost Boys.  I didn't cry, I swear!  Peter Pan rose up to battle Captain James Hook and eventually set in motion the chain of events that would lead to Hook's demise. 



In a way, the Mariners played the part of Hook in the 2011 WSFL playoffs for the Rebels.  Unlike the regular season game, that game was a battle.  Towards the end of the game, in a play that could have possibly lead to the loss in the 2011 WSFL Champioship, the leg of Tyler Hau was broken on a reverse.  It was a freak accident but that's football.  The injury of the Rebels' most prolific scorer reared its ugly head in the 0-7 loss to the Timberjacks. 

What I am saying is that the 2011 Rebels were Rufio.  The 2012 Rebels have now risen become Peter Pan will face off once again with James Hook. 

The Rebels will play in Two Rivers against the Manitowoc Mariners at Walsh field at 4:00 pm.  Be there to support the Rebels and join the team at Johnny Chimpos afterwards for barrels of rum (I am going with the pirate theme still).

Intersection of:
22nd Street and Polk Street
Two Rivers, WI 54241

Come to think of it.  The Timberjacks were really Captain Hook.  The Mariners were their side kicks.  I guess, in this allegory, that the Mariners are really, uh, hmm, Smee.

Week 2 Results

The Rebels won easily over the Bulldogs 68-6.  It was a good tune up for the Rebels in that all players got to take part in the game.  Fun was had by all.

Josh Bardon had another pick 6.  Everyone is proud.