Week 7 - Rebels vs Tjacks - Again

The whole WSFL knows about the Rebel defense.  They pee in fear a little each time they think about it.  This week, however, the offensive nerds will rejoice!  Let's take a look at some numbers, shall we?  http://www.gowsfl.com/statsRush.php

Both of the Rebel running backs average more per carry than anyone in the league who gets at least 5 carries per game.  Skyler Ebbers (Cedar Grove Belgium pride!) has 301 yards on 48 carries for an average of 6.3 yards per carry.  Ebbers plays like a monster truck; he'll run your ass over!  Jeremy Williams (more commonly known as J Will) has 307 yards on 46 carries for an average of 6.7 yards per rush.  J Will is the freak back.  He will kill you to the outside, run you over on the inside and make defensive backfields go "palms up" in dismay.  Don't forget about Ricky Cannon, though!  On 22 carries he has 123 yards (5.6 yards per carry).


Palms up

How is this possible?  How is a hydra like backfield able to exist in a league as powerful as the WSFL?  Let's take a look at the group of hogs that makes it all happen.  A group of men that, when together, tip the scales at or around 1450 or 1500 lbs depending on the lineup and the size of the most recent meal.

The Rebels have a nearly senile old man leading the oline at center.  His name is Jeff DeBlaey but if you ask him it is sometimes Bubbles.  To prove his age, Jeff is an original Rebel.  Don't let his age fool you, though.  He has the pecs of a 25 year old Hulk Hogan.  Paired with his firey play, nobody wants to mess with those pectorals or Bubbles.

At right guard is Chris Cox.  It is rumored that he is half man and half hulk.  With a last name like his you learn to be pretty tough.  Chris can routinely be seen 10 yards down field with a defensive tackle in his clutches.  Ask some of the Untouchables what it is like to get trapped by him... they might not remember though.

At right tackle is the manbeast, Jared Martin.  As a 4 year starter at Lakeland College he knows how to play.  It is a regular sight to see defensive ends or outside linebackers begging for forgiveness because of perceived transgressions.  Do. Not. Mess. With. This. Man.

At the left guard spot the Rebels have been switching back and forth between two players.  One is Kyle Heim and he holds the world record for most wedding invites in a single year.  I think the number is at or around 2,000.  His technique for blocking is only rivaled by his technique for plumbing.  The other guard (who can also play tackle) is Tyler Courtright.  Many people "play to the whistle" but Tyler plays to "two seconds AFTER the whistle".  Shortly after a play is over it is common to hear "get in the weightroom if you don't like it", "stop crying so much" and "pardon me, good sir, but it appears that you are terrible" coming from Mr. Courtright.

At left tackle is some liberal ninny who drinks soy milk because it is "healthy and doesn't taste that bad".  What a joke. He is a Cedar Grove-Belguim Alum so that has to count for something, right?

The Rebels will journey to the great north woods to take on the hated M&Ms brand Timberjacks.  This matchup is always a great game.

Come out and support the Rebels this Saturday!

Spies Field
1100 26th Avenue
Menominee, MI 49858